A Case for Short-Term Friendships

Before my study abroad program, I had always taken pride in the idea that I could both adapt to and eventually leave any given environment easily without any sense of loss or regret. This is because I have moved a lot during the past several years. And moving so much forced me to develop a passive character that did not necessarily reject close connections, but was resigned to the belief that close friendships do not last forever.

This frame of mind has honestly helped me look towards the future as I have said goodbye to different chapters and people in my life. However, I have to admit that it has become increasingly more difficult for me to do this. And the end of the first session of my program here in Germany has been my biggest feat to date.

 

2

Ashley, Victoria, and I decided to break out of routine of classes and go explore more of our beautiful host city.

 

My program is split into two summer sessions, 5 weeks each. I am among the 20 or so students who are enrolled for all 10 weeks. I was aware of this when I arrived but I did not think that I would develop substantial friendships during a short study abroad program. I knew that I would meet interesting people and maybe become friends with a few but I did not anticipate meeting so many amazing individuals. Individuals that I will not have the pleasure of associating with when I return to the United States because we all go to different schools in different states.

 

4

The beginning of the second session was filled with sad goodbyes. The only silver lining was having the opportunity to connect with the new students and explore Berlin with Michaela and Ben, pictured here.

 

Saying goodbye to friends who left Germany after the first summer session was very difficult because I had somehow found people who I instantly connected with on deep level. I found people who were willing to have difficult, sometimes controversial discussions, in an intellectual and empathetic manner. I found people who were willing to laugh at themselves, people who saw the value in sitting down and having a conversation with someone who is nothing like you. I found people who embody attributes that I strive to have.

Saying goodbye to them and knowing that I would most likely never see them again was hard to swallow. I honestly spent days afterwards regretting not saying yes to certain outings and travel opportunities. But thankfully after moping around, I soon began to appreciate the short time that I had with them. I realized that I was lucky to have had any time with them because our paths would never have crossed if we had not enrolled in the same program.

 

5

Standing in this cramped (but huge) elevator with about 30 other students was the first time the reality of our fateful yet limited time together really hit me.

 

As I collected my emotions, I began to remember the moments that characterized my friendships with them. I remembered the five minute to hour long conversations. I remembered the excitement we shared together when we tried new cuisines or explored new cities. I remembered how we confided in each other during times of uncertainty. And I remembered so much more that made me happy for our time together, regardless of how short it was.

To add a relief from my self-introspection, I’ll talk a little bit about the people I said goodbye to:

 

3

Long train rides would have been terrible without these two (Ashley and Victoria) to talk to. And also Charlotte who is not pictured.

 

The laughing, fiery red-head girl to the right in the picture above is Victoria. Victoria and I had no classes together, our paths rarely crossed and we could have easily missed each other on a daily basis. Yet, we became very close. I credit our initial interaction to the fact that we both have a dark sense of humor that is lost on most people. My favorite moments of the first session of my program were spent with her. Previously, I had never met anyone who was so self-aware. We would sit for hours to talk about everything and nothing. The fact that she was so open and willing to struggle through theories and ideas with me (and anyone) was the reason we bonded so quickly and so closely.

 

1

Taken on the first day of our program’s week in Berlin. This day also marked the start of a beautiful friendship with the two women pictured, Abra and Sam.

 

The two women pictured above are Abra and Sam. We sadly did not get to know each other very well until their last days in Germany. But those 3 days were enough to create memories that will stay with me for a very long time. Our most memorable time together was when we ventured to visit what’s left of the Berlin Wall. Berlin is not an easy place to navigate through without a guide so we had to rely on each other’s wits to get us through the city.  After walking through and experiencing something of that magnitude, we sat down for what is to date the most delicious meal I have ever had, and talked about everything and nothing over dinner.

The final profile I’ll share is of the smiling young woman in the picture below.

 

6

I made her stand and smile because I mischievously wanted a picture of the two performers behind her without having to pay. It turned out to be a pretty great picture that shows how much fun we had that day.

 

In 6 weeks, I had only talked to Tana about 2 or 3 times. Our paths never really crossed, at least not until I answered her general request for someone to accompany her to the Lüneburg City festival. We then spent the rest of the day and part of the next morning together just having fun and getting to know each other. Our day together was the first time that I really thought of the notion of a short-term friendship. Because we both knew that day was our one and only chance to bond.

Saying goodbye to these people and the prospect of saying goodbye to more in the coming weeks is sad. But these individuals (and many others not mentioned) have expanded my life perspective in ways I will carry with me forever.

Leave a comment

Filed under Bioreoluwasheto in Germany, Western Europe

I’m Back?

When I think about being in Salamanca or try to tell someone else about my experiences there, I feel like I’m in a fog. It’s almost as if I was never there and I’m telling folks a fairy tale of sorts. To have explored a foreign country and return home is a very surreal thing. I didn’t expect to be watching my children play and think about the kids playing in the fountain at La Parque Alamadillo. Or go for breakfast with my husband and not being able to finish a good ol’ American pancake meal when all I want is just a cafe con leche and a croissant. Crazy.

DSCN1221

Garden Wall in Madrid, Spain.

IMG_2380.JPG

The best churros in Spain at Valor in Salamanca.

 

I’m not sure that I even thought about what would happen once I returned home and to my routine. I haven’t had much trouble adjusting to my old life (strange to call it “my old life”). I’ve jumped back into the swing of things with both feet and I think I’m doing a good job of it (if I say so myself…and I do). But I feel myself fighting to hang on to my memories of being in Spain. I’m not quite able to express to my friends and family EXACTLY what my walk to school was like. Or what pinchos really are. Or how I really feel about being back home.

 

IMG_2239

San Sebastian Coastline, Northern Spain.

La Senora y Yo

My señora (host mom) in Spain.

 

I may never be able to explain all that I gained in Spain through this wonderful opportunity Alamo College and the Gilman Program gave me, but I will always have my memories of this very special place. I am forever changed. I will never be able to fit into a cookie cutter mold. And that in itself has made everything worth it.

Leave a comment

Filed under Meya in Spain, Western Europe

Finally Home: The Return and Reverse Culture Shock

It has been a week since I’ve returned home and it has been very bittersweet. Before returning home I decided to do a little traveling. When it was time to come back to the United States, reality hit me. When I thought of going home I kept thinking about my little apartment in Bangkok, not my home in Puerto Rico.

Going home.

Going home.

I felt very sad when it was time to leave Thailand. I grew to love my neighborhood and the people I interacted with every day. The food vendors who greeted me every day, the fruit man who tried to teach me the names of the different fruits in Thai, and the coffee girl who spoke to me only in Thai and laughed with me when I didn’t understand anything. But even so I was very excited to return to my island, my family, friends, and delicious Puerto Rican food.

Farewell party arrange by the university

A farewell party arranged by my host university

The hardest thing I’ve experience since coming back has been dealing with the jet-lag. It has been a struggle getting back on track and changing time zones. Because of this I have missed out on some dates to see my friends since I’ve been sleeping weird hours. Another one of the biggest changes to re-adjust to has been the difference in price. Thailand is an extremely cheap country to live in. One dollar meals, extremely cheap transportation, and shopping is definitely the thing I miss the most about Thailand. The expensive prices in Puerto Rico have left me in shock. Going from paying $1 for a meal and $1 for an iced coffee to paying more than $15 for both hurts.

Enjoying our lasts days with student discounts

Enjoying our lasts days with student discounts.

I miss Thailand a lot and keep wanting to talk to everyone about my experience. I know that in some weeks I will probably come to experience more reverse culture shock but for now I’m happy to be back home and to share my experiences with my friends and family. And I also have another adventure to look forward to: Beginning this August I will be studying abroad again in Germany for a full year. Thanks to my time abroad in Thailand I feel more than ready to tackle this new experience.  Studying abroad definitely gave me the confidence to say yes to this opportunity and to not be afraid of what’s to come. I feel extremely prepared to overcome any obstacle, to have an open mind, and to do my best in this new adventure.

The day of our last final. Our class of Beginning Thai.

The day of our last final exam in Beginning Thai.

1 Comment

Filed under Arleen in Thailand, South & Central Asia

Social Justice and Study Abroad

Leave a comment

Filed under East Asia, Stephanie in Japan, Video Bloggers

A New Blend of an Old Self

It’s a week after I returned from study abroad. I’ve finished unpacking my suitcases and feel like my travel home is a blur. But then I remember the 24-hour journey in which I managed to bring not only my backpack as a carry on, but also my sleeping bag, tent, and sleeping mat that somehow made it through multiple sets of security check points. I also remember the entire season of Girls I watched with jet-lagged curiosity on the flight instead of sleeping. And on the final leg, waiting around in those airport chairs  eavesdropping on strangers who I can understand because they are shockingly speaking perfect English.

The airport pickup was made by my parents who arrived with much enthusiasm and a little cooler of snacks to share. The reunion felt strangely similar to when I am reunited with my family in between semesters away at school. All one can really offer another is love and snacks at this point.

 

IMG_2456

Shortly after I got home, my mother and I went strawberry picking. I’ve never been so conscious of such an annual routine. Take note of the small good!

 

There are a few strange bits about being home.

The first time I got in my car and began driving, it was a feeling of pure exhilaration and luxury. I turned on the radio and felt like a million dollars.

I have a whole closet, dresser, and shelf full of clothes to wear now and am somehow feeling slightly nostalgic for my living-out-of-a-suitcase life. This is something I thought to be impossible beforehand. I  donated multiple bags of clothing to the thrift store right away.

Being home is a bit strange because you want to share your experience perfectly so you feel a bit disappointed when people don’t ask you about it, but feel equally disappointed when they do ask and you struggle to define your experience in the 30 seconds available. There are just so may facets to include in the explanation. I believe this gets easier.

 

IMG_2304

The face I make for reverse culture shock as a stranger at my own kitchen table. Modeled by university cat.

 

A few oddities worth mentioning:

My Facebook newsfeed is a mix of memes in both English and Spanish.

In a recent trip to town, my friend hands me his Jeep’s auxiliary cord. I put on Chilean reggae music and begin to tap the rhythm out on my thighs. He just laughs.

I feel even more strongly now post-Chile that our consumer markets are flooded with way too much stuff as I stand in front of the five shelves of peanut butter in the grocery store, reflecting on the choice between merely two types in Chile.

I wonder when I’ll find a liquor store that sells Pisco, the Chilean alcohol distilled from grapes.

I complain about the quality of avocados in Wisconsin as I open a smelly too-many-days-old one from our counter. I recall how avocados seemed immune to aging in Chile. I also feel a queasy sort of guilt for all the food miles we rack up with produce in the States.

Outside my window I hear the sound of summer frogs instead of the weekly marching band practice that sounded below my Valparaiso apartment. The cars that pass by do so in silence and I find myself grappling to define the feeling that something is missing. I realize I miss the lack of cars with open windows stuck in traffic constantly, stretched along the oceanfront and the narrow streets. Many Chileans like to leave room for their reggaeton beats to waft out.

 

IMG_1475

A Chilean lesson: the meaning is always in the small details.

 

I visit the flea market on Sunday and it reminds me of Valparaiso’s. My mom motions to the meats for sale, wrapped in several layers of plastic wrap, labeled, and in buckets of ice. I think about the carts of raw fish in Chile with the juices running down the sides onto the sidewalk.

There are plenty of things here I appreciate, like setting my own mealtimes, free access to my large book collection, and the easily attained feeling of home. I missed being surrounded by forested area and seeing the deer graze in the yard. I’ve enjoyed planting the garden and weeding the kale again.

 

IMG_2451

A few of my favorite things I enjoyed the first week home: green salad, libraries, and iced coffee.

 

But it’s quiet here and pretty stable. I miss the chaotic, random unfolding of events of a night in Valparaiso and I miss the constant opportunity for something to happen. I suppose I have been trying to find small ways to add adventure and challenge to my days here since my time away allows me to look at it all with fresh eyes.

When I first arrived home I was scared I had settled back in too easily. But as I’ve made present in the examples above, Chile is present in my thoughts and is becoming more and more frequent. I keep finding more reasons to appreciate the experience.

As for my future, my appetite for the pursuit of my goals in life seems to have grown. I’ve been devouring magazine articles and short stories, noting remarkable authors and different approaches to journalism. I’ve been thinking about new ideas to write about this fall for my school’s magazine and narrowing in on my internship options. Making goals to read more, write more, and tackle some more Spanish reading seems to have become a daily trend right after brewing my morning coffee. Each cup is a treat as I thank my garage-sale-bought Coffeemate and recall the trademark Nescafe packets of Chilean instant coffee.

I envision my life being a fuse of lines of writing, reading, non-profit work, magazine articles, and representing differences, while simultaneously embarking on my own quest. My world has grown. My world is changing. I step into my old location as a new blend of myselves, pre-Chile and post.

 

IMG_1294

Ciao Chile!! This photo captures the finale of a steep climb that I made at the national park La Campana. Only a bit more steep and rocky than the challenge of studying abroad! (Hah!)

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Natalie in Chile, south america

Missing Home

The familiar mesquite trees sway to the occasional breeze on a hot Texas summer day. I am home. The hum of the washing machine stops and the dryer begins to beep, signaling me to finish the laundry. I’m back. I can hear my dad arguing with my sister about something that won’t matter or be remembered by tomorrow morning. I am finally home.

No matter how many times I say it, the phrase “I am home” does not carry the same joy as it did when I said it while embracing my parents at the Houston airport my first day back in the United States. Now when I say, “I am home,” the words come out more like a question. Am I really home? I’m home, yet I’m ready to go back home. I wonder if that makes any sense.

I’ve been back for a week now and although I am happy to be reunited with my family, I can’t help but feel homesick for Peru. The more I share stories about my experiences abroad, the more I miss my old life in Lima. I remember my first meal back in America. My family took me out for breakfast and we ate at a café in a small town. When the waiter began taking orders, I kept having a natural urge to respond in Spanish. A globe sat on a shelf on the opposite side of me and I kept staring at it, feeling the want and need to return to Peru. The waiter brought glasses of yellow colored juice. My heart sped up and then sank in disappointment once I realized the juice wasn’t maracuyá (passion fruit), but regular orange juice. Again, I mistook one of my favorite beverages–chicha morada (purple corn juice)– for a purple colored tea while walking around the farmer’s market in my hometown.

Transitioning back into my old life during the first few days was the hardest for me. I found it hard to accept that I was never going back to my old home at the Casa Yllika or greet the doorman who sat at the front desk of the building where my political science class was held every morning. I miss living in a big city where everything was within walking distance. I even miss the danger of running across the bustling streets of Lima while having car horns blast impatiently in the air. I miss how every day felt like an adventure.

 

image1

Me standing above the city of Lima.

 

The biggest difference between the United States and Peru is the difference in social class levels. In Peru, the poor are really poor and there is a lack of a middle class. Driving around Texas however, one can see that there is an obvious middle class and the children are playing instead of begging on the streets. As I pass by the rows and rows of pretty houses with bright green lawns, I can’t help but laugh at myself for thinking our country was truly suffering. I remember the shantytowns outside of Lima. I remember the begging children, the handicapped man selling stale chocolates, and the homeless woman breastfeeding her baby on the side of the mall. I don’t want to forget them, but as more time passes and life returns to normalcy, I can feel them slowly fading into a dreamlike memory.

 

image2

Students leaving school to go back to their homes in the shantytown.

 

My mission now is to take my experiences and share them with everyone around me. I will tell them about the village in the Amazon, the shantytown school, the wonderful food, and the amazing people. My trip to Peru has inspired me to travel all around the world and seek opportunities where I will be able to assist those in need. I look forward to visiting Peru again one day, not as a student, but as an English teacher.

 

image3

Some of the fourth grade students I got to meet at a school located a couple of blocks from where I was living in Lima.

Leave a comment

Filed under Isabel in Peru, south america

Round Table Dining in China

Let me start by sharing these two facts about me: I’m a huge foodie and Chinese food is an irresistible family favorite. I love everything about food whether it’s home cooking, gourmet dining, or searching for the most delicious palate. When I eat with my Chinese friends in the States, they always ask for the “real” menu. The notion of a secret menu that caters to a Chinese palate and another that offers Western-friendly options was very peculiar to me. Naturally, I was ecstatic to try authentic Chinese cuisine.

 

HomeCooking

A home-cooked Chinese meal.

 

Chinese people are some of the most hospitable folk I’ve met in my life. When I arrived in Shanghai, my friend Alvin invited me to join him and a Canadian expat for an authentic Sichuan hotpot called Là Fû. Alvin ordered many dishes such as frog, rabbit head, cow intestine, brain, ox tail, and tongue. Initially, I was nervous about trying some of these but they were surprisingly delicious. It was there that I received my first lesson in the cultural differences between China, America, and Egypt.

 

LaFu

Enjoying Là Fû.

 

First, the Chinese version of spicy is something you should probably avoid unless you’re a fire-breather or a dragon. Another part of Chinese etiquette is making sure that your guest has enough to eat. If your host sees that you have finished your plate that is his cue to order more. By the time I realized this, I felt like a turkey on Thanksgiving Day—stuffed. Alvin was very adamant about paying which brings me to my third lesson: The person who extends the invitation is usually the one who will foot the bill.

Last weekend, my roommate and I journeyed from our apartment to The Bund in search of Din Tai Fung. In 1993, this restaurant was rated top ten in the world and featured Shanghai’s most famous dumplings. We finally found it after an hour of walking and although the portions were small, it exceeded every expectation. This week my friend Nick came to visit and took me to a Korean barbecue called “B.C. 2333” where I was treated to the best Korean food I’ve had thus far. Afterwards, they took me on a native tour of Shanghai and I felt as if I was seeing the city for the first time.

 

DinTaiFung

Din Tai Fung restaurant.

f54cbd05-d076-4b3b-b3da-2f8e6fd03bcf

At BC 2333.

 

There are many differences between the Chinese and Western style of dining. In both cultures, eating out is a way of socializing, but in China there is a greater emphasis on sharing and being a good host. Something I really admire about this culture is the round table style of dining. It is very personable and I like being able to share dishes with my friends. Finally, I would recommend bringing a Chinese friend with you because it is extremely difficult to order authentic food without speaking Mandarin. Unless you’re eating pizza with Italians, nobody knows pizza better than Italians.

 

Pizza

Leave a comment

Filed under East Asia, Khalid in China