A Case for Short-Term Friendships

Before my study abroad program, I had always taken pride in the idea that I could both adapt to and eventually leave any given environment easily without any sense of loss or regret. This is because I have moved a lot during the past several years. And moving so much forced me to develop a passive character that did not necessarily reject close connections, but was resigned to the belief that close friendships do not last forever.

This frame of mind has honestly helped me look towards the future as I have said goodbye to different chapters and people in my life. However, I have to admit that it has become increasingly more difficult for me to do this. And the end of the first session of my program here in Germany has been my biggest feat to date.

 

2

Ashley, Victoria, and I decided to break out of routine of classes and go explore more of our beautiful host city.

 

My program is split into two summer sessions, 5 weeks each. I am among the 20 or so students who are enrolled for all 10 weeks. I was aware of this when I arrived but I did not think that I would develop substantial friendships during a short study abroad program. I knew that I would meet interesting people and maybe become friends with a few but I did not anticipate meeting so many amazing individuals. Individuals that I will not have the pleasure of associating with when I return to the United States because we all go to different schools in different states.

 

4

The beginning of the second session was filled with sad goodbyes. The only silver lining was having the opportunity to connect with the new students and explore Berlin with Michaela and Ben, pictured here.

 

Saying goodbye to friends who left Germany after the first summer session was very difficult because I had somehow found people who I instantly connected with on deep level. I found people who were willing to have difficult, sometimes controversial discussions, in an intellectual and empathetic manner. I found people who were willing to laugh at themselves, people who saw the value in sitting down and having a conversation with someone who is nothing like you. I found people who embody attributes that I strive to have.

Saying goodbye to them and knowing that I would most likely never see them again was hard to swallow. I honestly spent days afterwards regretting not saying yes to certain outings and travel opportunities. But thankfully after moping around, I soon began to appreciate the short time that I had with them. I realized that I was lucky to have had any time with them because our paths would never have crossed if we had not enrolled in the same program.

 

5

Standing in this cramped (but huge) elevator with about 30 other students was the first time the reality of our fateful yet limited time together really hit me.

 

As I collected my emotions, I began to remember the moments that characterized my friendships with them. I remembered the five minute to hour long conversations. I remembered the excitement we shared together when we tried new cuisines or explored new cities. I remembered how we confided in each other during times of uncertainty. And I remembered so much more that made me happy for our time together, regardless of how short it was.

To add a relief from my self-introspection, I’ll talk a little bit about the people I said goodbye to:

 

3

Long train rides would have been terrible without these two (Ashley and Victoria) to talk to. And also Charlotte who is not pictured.

 

The laughing, fiery red-head girl to the right in the picture above is Victoria. Victoria and I had no classes together, our paths rarely crossed and we could have easily missed each other on a daily basis. Yet, we became very close. I credit our initial interaction to the fact that we both have a dark sense of humor that is lost on most people. My favorite moments of the first session of my program were spent with her. Previously, I had never met anyone who was so self-aware. We would sit for hours to talk about everything and nothing. The fact that she was so open and willing to struggle through theories and ideas with me (and anyone) was the reason we bonded so quickly and so closely.

 

1

Taken on the first day of our program’s week in Berlin. This day also marked the start of a beautiful friendship with the two women pictured, Abra and Sam.

 

The two women pictured above are Abra and Sam. We sadly did not get to know each other very well until their last days in Germany. But those 3 days were enough to create memories that will stay with me for a very long time. Our most memorable time together was when we ventured to visit what’s left of the Berlin Wall. Berlin is not an easy place to navigate through without a guide so we had to rely on each other’s wits to get us through the city.  After walking through and experiencing something of that magnitude, we sat down for what is to date the most delicious meal I have ever had, and talked about everything and nothing over dinner.

The final profile I’ll share is of the smiling young woman in the picture below.

 

6

I made her stand and smile because I mischievously wanted a picture of the two performers behind her without having to pay. It turned out to be a pretty great picture that shows how much fun we had that day.

 

In 6 weeks, I had only talked to Tana about 2 or 3 times. Our paths never really crossed, at least not until I answered her general request for someone to accompany her to the Lüneburg City festival. We then spent the rest of the day and part of the next morning together just having fun and getting to know each other. Our day together was the first time that I really thought of the notion of a short-term friendship. Because we both knew that day was our one and only chance to bond.

Saying goodbye to these people and the prospect of saying goodbye to more in the coming weeks is sad. But these individuals (and many others not mentioned) have expanded my life perspective in ways I will carry with me forever.

Leave a comment

Filed under Bioreoluwasheto in Germany, Western Europe

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s